Sarah Ryan
Registered Online Psychotherapist

In depth psychology the shadow refers to aspects of the psyche that remain outside conscious identification yet continue to influence behaviour, perception and emotional life. The concept was articulated most clearly by Carl Jung, though closely related ideas appear throughout psychoanalytic theory. The shadow does not refer to “bad” parts of the personality. Rather, it refers to those elements of psychic life that the conscious ego does not recognise as belonging to itself.

Your nervous system is not the enemy here Here’s something I’ve learned very clearly as a therapist and as a human being that I thought might be helpful to share. I’ve heard it from many clients when they look back on traumatic relationships or events: “Part of me knew.” They had an ongoing sense of unease, confusion, or anxiety around a person or situation, and at the time they assumed it meant something was wrong with them. Only later did they recognise it as a response

People respond to trauma in very different ways, and therapy has evolved as our understanding has deepened. In the past, it was often assumed that talking in detail about traumatic events was necessary for healing. We now know that revisiting trauma too directly or too soon can overwhelm the nervous system and lead to re-traumatisation. For many people, healing does not require retelling what happened. It may instead involve working with present-day patterns, bodily responses

Unprocessed experiences don’t slot neatly into the “past.” They hang around, shaping how we feel now. Covid is a prime example: for many,...

I’ve been thinking about honesty, specifically: is it possible to be psychologically healthy and knowingly not tell the truth? It’s a...

I’m just walking home with a coffee, after watching a man fall off a paddle board like a seal in a suit - laughing (quietly, kindly) as...

I’ve been thinking about disidentification recently as a prelude to individuation, arguably the central aim in a successful psychotherapy...

When in connection with someone who has lived through trauma, particularly sexual trauma, it can be difficult to know what to do, or how...

Notes from the Therapy Room - Sarah Ryan I’ve worked for years with clients who carry something difficult to name. It isn’t always...

Many women who have experienced psychological, emotional, sexual, or psychic boundary violations find themselves navigating a deep and...

One of the clearest signs that a client is beginning to move toward a learned secure attachment within themselves is when they stop...

Grief doesn’t always come when it’s expected. Sometimes it arrives years later - triggered by a moment, a relationship, or a silence that...

In trauma work, emptiness is often misunderstood. But as Peter Levine writes, the healing process can become “a portal opening to...

Who’s in Charge? On External Regulation, Internal Authority, and the Conditions for Safety. In some developmental environments, safety is...

In some lives, the self is not lost, but deferred. Not through overt trauma or disappearance, but through a more subtle contract: you...

It’s simple, but important. In a healthy relationship, if you tell someone they scared you - even unintentionally - a healthy man will...

A client sits across the room, bewildered. The relationship is over, yet the confusion remains. “I just don’t understand,” they say. “How...

Heartbreak is often a rupture in the psychic field. What was once held in connection falls away, and with it, the scaffolding that gave...

Insecure attachment creates a particular bind. You might find yourself needing constant reassurance and proximity, because you’ve never...

A trauma bond doesn’t always look like abuse. It can look like passion, devotion, even love - but it is love entangled with survival. It is a bond built through cycles of harm and relief, where pain and comfort come from the same source.