I was reading Martha Beck’s book, The Way of Integrity: Finding the Path to Your True Self, and she shares something that she says has never failed anyone she knows who has felt lost, unsure of their purpose, or like they’re in the wrong place in life - anyone who’s found themselves in a “dark night of the soul.” She says it works every time... And then she shared what it is: something so simple.
It’s this: you say how you feel. And if how you feel is, “I don’t know how I feel” or “I feel lost,” then that’s what you say. You admit, “I’m lost.” That’s it. It sounds almost too simple, doesn’t it? But that’s the thing - simplicity is often where the truth lives.
It makes perfect sense though doesn't it. If you imagine being out with a map and you’ve gone off course, what happens if you just keep walking in the wrong direction? You’ll end up even more lost. But if you stop and admit, “I’m lost,” you can re-orientate yourself. You can figure out where you are and where you need to go.
Admitting that you’re lost brings you back into alignment with yourself because it’s the truth and your mind and body and heart will feel that you are back in integrity with yourself. And as Martha Beck explains, your body knows the truth. If something is true, your body feels relaxed and expansive. If it’s not true, your body feels tight and constricted.
This is also sometimes what contacting a therapist for the first time feels like and why it's such a significant positive first step - a moment where you say, “I need some help because I’m lost.” That act of honesty can be such a relief. You’re no longer pretending or pushing through; you’re reconnecting with yourself. And from there, you can begin to find your way again...
