Why I Recommend It’s Not You by Dr. Ramani to My Clients

If you’ve ever found yourself questioning whether you’re in a relationship where there’s an imbalance of power - or reflecting on patterns in past relationships - It’s Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People by Dr. Ramani Durvasula is an essential read.

This book is particularly useful for recognising the subtle, insidious dynamics that can define narcissistic relationships.

One of the reasons I recommend this book so highly is because these dynamics are often difficult to see while you’re experiencing them. Dr. Ramani’s ability to clearly articulate the behaviours and patterns at play - such as manipulation, invalidation, or a lack of empathy - makes it an invaluable resource for anyone trying to make sense of these confusing and often painful experiences.

Many therapists are not experts in narcissism, which can make it even harder for individuals to get the support they need. However, this is an area I have worked in extensively. I’ve supported many clients dealing with narcissistic abuse, recovering from such relationships, or reflecting on patterns in their relationship history. In addition to being deeply familiar with Dr. Ramani’s work, I’ve also drawn insight from other experts, such as Melanie Tonia Evans. This background enables me to offer a safe and informed space to help you navigate this complex terrain.

If you suspect you may be in a narcissistic relationship, are recovering from one, or are noticing patterns in your relationships that you’d like to explore, therapy can help you reclaim your energy, autonomy, and self-worth. Together, we can put the focus back on you—helping you honour and protect yourself, recognise your needs, and attract healthier, equal relationships where you are truly seen, heard, and respected.

The process of healing and self-reclamation also has a profound ripple effect. As you begin to prioritise and align with your own values and boundaries, you naturally create space for others who value mutual respect and care to come into your life.

Whether you’re looking for a single session to discuss your situation or a deeper block of sessions to explore and shift longstanding patterns, I can help you work toward the relationships - and the life - you deserve.

Dr. Ramani’s It’s Not You is a brilliant starting point for anyone on this journey, and I encourage you to explore it. If you’re ready to take the next step, let’s work together to help you reclaim your life and build the fulfilling relationships you deserve.